November 11, 2004
The birth of his second child, Briar, brings up old memories and fears for Duskwater.
"Well, Briar, here you are at long last. And you've already tired out your poor mother." Duskwater lifted his wriggling newborn son out of a sleeping Chillwind's grasp. The tiny cub looked as if he may protest this change of affairs but his father quickly settled him in the crook of one arm and gently patted him on the back.
Briar squinted up at his father, brown eyes sleepy and confused. Duskwater smiled down at the babe and murmured, "Yes, it's all right. Mother is sleeping and Father has you now." The small, slightly suspicious eyes batted slowly a few times before surrendering to the soothing rhythm tapped on his back.
Duskwater sat cradling his son for quite a while. He just watched the infant sleep, marveling at the tiny perfection in his arms. He probably could have sat in happy contemplation of this child for hours on end if memories of his firstborn had not intruded.
He whispered, "Do I dare dream of a future for you, little one? Will you make it to adulthood? Or will you, too, be ripped from my life in a few turns?" Duskwater paused to examine the newborn's features minutely.
"You have your mother's chin. Did you inherit the stubbornness to go with it? Are your brown eyes as discerning as hers? Will these little hands be as strong and capable as Chillwind's one day?"
Duskwater clutched Briar closer to his chest protectively. He closed his eyes as he whispered urgently. "Be like your mother, cubling. Be strong and fierce and brave beyond all words."
Chillwind's tired voice rose from the bed furs. "While you're at it, wish your patience on him." Duskwater looked up at his lifemate and smiled seeing her rumpled appearance. Several long wisps of her ash-blonde hair had escaped her braid and straggled around her face. Beautiful. She returned his smile, and then continued. "And some of your gentleness should round him out nicely."
He started to rise so he could return the cub, but Chillwind waved him back to his seat. "Hold him while you can," she said. "I have a feeling he'll wake up hungry soon enough."
He settled back down, patting the babe comfortingly. His eyes lingered lovingly on his newborn son's sleeping face for a moment before he quietly stated, "I don't want him gentle. I want him bold and fearless."
Both of Chillwind's pale brows rose at that comment. She looked at him as if he had suddenly sprouted a tail. But, before she could say anything, she caught his barely audible confession. "Dagwood was gentle."
She sighed with understanding. Leaning forward, she reached out and began patting his knee, unconsciously falling into the same rhythm he was using to reassure Briar. His blue eyes met her brown ones. He said, "I want him to grab life with two hands and wring every drop of experience out of it and then gnaw on it just in case he missed even the smallest scrap."
"Oh, love, he will. You heard his soul name echo through your mind. Surely you felt the strength of the wolf blood within him." She waited for Duskwater's tentative agreement before going on. "It won't let him just lie there. He'll be constantly challenging and worrying at a problem until he's worn it down to a nub." She gazed on her son with undisguised pride. "He will be wondrous."
Duskwater smiled at her tenderly for a moment then glanced back at the cub in his arms. Briar was beginning to stir in his sleep. He leaned in closer to whisper. "Make sure you take some of her confidence as well."
He watched one tiny, balled fist flail in the air before settling near a slightly puckered mouth. He was suddenly saddened by the realization that the wolf blood would eventually open a gulf between them. But if it helped his son truly live, there would be time to bridge those gaps.
Briar turned his small head toward the heat of his father's bare chest with his mouth wide open, searching for the sustenance he needed. Not finding anything, he opened his eyes to slits and gazed up in confusion. Duskwater smiled softly at the cub and said, "Howl for me, little wolf."
Briar began to whimper which quickly grew into angry cries as he was shifted from one pair of arms to another. The sound abruptly stopped when he finally found his mother's breast and began to nurse. Duskwater moved to sit behind his mate so he could peer over her shoulder at the suckling cub. Chillwind leaned back against him so he wrapped his arms around her. With one hand he lightly stroked her arm but the other hand reached up to cradle the back of Briar's head. He watched his son's determined feeding and began to hope.