February 9, 2002
Haunting memories; surrender to the NOW.
I leave the Holt behind. I'm walking alone. The voices of my tribesmates fade away behind me as I walk further into the forest. Soon, all I can hear are the sounds of the forest night.
I am alone. No one is around. I smile to myself. I quicken my steps. The night air surrounds me. My walk turns into a jog. I'm breathing through the nose, enjoying every scent that the night gives to me.
Memories pass through my mind, memories of a distant past. Dark memories. I jog faster. Thoughts about the future chase the memories away, troubled thoughts. My jog turns into a run. My heart is beating faster now. I'm breathing different too. In through the nose and out through the mouth.
I run faster, leaving my worries about tomorrow behind. I dodge a low branch without slowing down. The memories come back. They cloud my senses.
I run faster still. Trying to outrun the past. I'm starting to pant. Sweat is starting to run down my face.
Leaping over a big rock I accelerate to max. I'm running as fast as I can, finally leaving my memories behind. Finally breaking free. My heart is pounding. No memories. No worries.
Running. Leaping over a fallen tree. Embrace the NOW. Running. Distancing myself from my elf blood. Panting. Running. Allowing the wolf in me to take over. Running through some bushes.
Thorns. Running.
Panting.
Running.
Fox!
Follow.
Running.
Panting.
Tracking fox.
Running.
Gaining on it.
Panting.
Fox gone.
Running.
Panting.
Running.
Sharp turn. Branch.
Dodging.
Running.
Bushes. Thorns. Pain.
Running.
Panting.
Running.
Cliff.
Running.
Dead end.
Panting.
"AAAYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Panting.
Panting.
My elf blood claims control over my body once more. My arms and my chest are covered with tiny cuts. From thorns, I suppose. I smile. Being a wolf is good. It clears the mind. I start walking back to the Holt.